Over the past two years, 150,000+ Coloradans have lost their jobs, the value of many 401Ks decreased by 40 to 50%, home owners have lost their mortgages and businesses have shut down. Rather than belabor this and other dismal data, the following quips have been pulled from a variety of sources to provide a lighter and less rigorous view of the country’s economic fortunes.
The state economy has been so bad that…
• A woman on the Western Slope ordered a hamburger at a fast food restaurant and the clerk behind the counter chimed in, “Are you sure you can afford the fries to go with that?”
• Coloradans have begun to receive pre-declined credit card offers in the mail.
• A farmer on the Eastern Plains received a note from the bank with a check marked “Insufficient Funds.” He called the bank to ask if that meant him or them.
• Two college students on the Auraria Campus were actually seen talking to each other, they couldn’t afford the cell phone plan that allowed them to send text messages to each other.
• A major corporation held a conference at one of Colorado’s finest mountain resorts. The recreational activities included a water balloon toss and squirt gun fight instead of river rafting; as well, the company golf tournament was held on the front nine at the miniature golf course. Awards were handed out at a wiener roast (that included smores) that evening.
• Parents in Denver’s wealthier suburbs have had to fire their nannies…in the mean time they learned how many children they had, what their names were, what grade they are in, and what schools they are attending.
• A resume-toting job applicant in Boulder was actually reported wearing a tie to a job interview – it matched his shorts and Birkenstocks. Despite the extra effort, he didn’t get the job.
The Great Recession officially ended in June 2009. In the 18 months that have passed, unemployment rates have risen (as expected), but other indicators suggest that better economic conditions lie ahead. Hang in there.
©Copyright 2011 by CBER.